she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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