My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
