Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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