I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
