IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
