Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
