oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
