I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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