My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
