i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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