He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
