Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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