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I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
