well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
