shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
