i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
