fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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