Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
