it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
