I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
