I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
