is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
sex in a hospital.. check
pray to the hookup gods
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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