I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
