So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize