I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize