Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
