But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
