Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
