Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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