I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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