First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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