In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
