Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
