i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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