the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
