dude i'm inner monologue high
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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