Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
