Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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