My room smells like vodka and shame
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
