Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
