I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
