Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
