Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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