If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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