??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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