I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
