Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
