i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
