Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize