apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
