How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
