i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
