Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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