Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
