party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I intend to get homeless drunk
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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