I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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