so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
